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I Have Never...

Monday, April 18, 2005

My fears...

"I Have Never been filmed talking about my fears before."

There's a new show happening soon at the theatre I'm involved with. It's called 'The Cleaners' and it's been written by the writer in residence, Mike Stewart. I'd do (almost) anything to get a part, as there is talk of working with professional actors and the possibility of a Spring tour...

Anyway, part of the build up occurred tonight. Mike's been asking people from our theatre group to be filmed talking about their fears. Well, the audition's not until Thursday, but I thought, what the heck? Nothing better than a bit of pre audition priming...

So, this is how I found myself in a room with Mike and a cameraman. I signed a waiver form to say that anything recorded could be used in the show, and I would not be able to see the edit beforehand (I'm not averse to chucking my rights away every now and again). Mike suggested we try a couple of dummy runs, where he comes up with things I could be afraid of, and I ad lib...

First of these was 'Hair'. Have you ever heard of anyone being afraid of hair? Well, I witter on for a couple of minutes. I talk about my dislike of long hair on men. I theorise that the logic of the fear is that long hair could get trapped in heavy machinery. I conjure up an image of some long haired workman being trapped in the cogs and being inexorably sucked into the guts of the beast... I then take an abrupt left turn and discuss my concern that I might find hair in food. I never have, of course (I usually eat in fairly poorly lit environments, it makes the food look better). However, I envisage finding a curly hair... I think I'll draw a veil there.

This first train of thought has amused Mike, so he chooses to try me with another random 'fake fear'. TOMATOES.

I ask you, tomatoes? How can I work with this material? Still, I persevere.

I reminisce about when, as a kid, I stepped on a ladybug (out of normal boyhood malice). How the bug came back and haunted me in my dreams (so far, so true). Then I explain how, in the dream it became a huge animated tomato (ok, so now I'm diverging). How this giant tomato has chased me ever since, chanting 'You stood on me, now I'm going to stand on you, see how you like it." Again I throw in a curveball. My concern that so much of our daily diet is now made up of tomato. Think about it - pizza, lasagne, chilli con carne, erm, well, other stuff...
(KETCHUP ah ha!)
What would happen if our tomato supply became contaminated? I leave this hanging in the air.

I think I preferred talking about hair. Mike asks me to move onto my real fear. I decide to discuss one which I have confronted and dealt with. My fear of talking to people on the phone.

I don't know where this really came from. It was not the fear I'd intended to discuss. Good ol' me - same as usual, living in denial.
I explain how, when small, I would let the phone ring when I was the only one in the house. How, I wished we'd got an answering machine sooner. How making calls out was excrutiating when I had to talk to my grandparents. Strangers were even worse.
It seems ridiculous looking back. After all, I work in a call centre now. I faced the fear head on in my teens, doing a couple of telesales roles. It was just another part of growing up.

I didn't think it turned out as interesting as the fake fears. It definitely wouldn't have trumped my initial plan of talking about my fear of love. I reckon that would have floored him.

But I bottled it.

So, What Do You Fear?

2 comment(s):

I am afraid of bugs. So much so that a piece of lint blowing across the floor can paralyze me (and has, as recently as yesterday).

By Blogger golfwidow, at 4:21 pm  

wow, I really loved that last post ric, fascinating! So wish I could get involved in something like that too. A tour would be tremendous. Checked out your mum's website by the way, had no idea she lives in Cheadle of all places, that's where my favourite Auntie (family friend) used to live, in the Vicarage with Peter Cook. Now she's in heaven tho'.But I have a really lovely photo of her to remember her by. I loved the aligator pic.Toodle pip. Katakus

By Blogger Katakus, at 10:56 am  

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